Today Kimberly Sabatini shares her personal story. She has also been kind enough to donate some swag (because we all love swag <3) Kimberly definitely got my emotions going when I read her story. I can only hope that it can help people to realize that a simple action can hurt others even if we don't intend to.
Kimberly Sabatini
This is a hard one for me to talk about,
even though it's been 24 years. I was voted Most Conceited in the Senior
Superlatives of my high school year book. To this day, I don't know what to say
about this. I have often wondered how the adults who were in charge could allow
this to happen. Let's face it--high school isn't easy on a good day. The act of
allowing or encouraging teenagers to anonymously vote, to label fellow students
in unkind ways, still blows my mind. Teachers are supposed to be the voice of
reason--the gate keepers. The zoo keepers.
While I'm playing my personal violin and
singing a sad song, I should inform you that I wasn't the only one to be put on
the hot seat. I had a conceited male counter-part. There were also pairs of
students labeled Worst Dressed, Alleged to Know it All, Teacher's Pet, Least
Athletic and a couple other questionable categories. I don't know if any of
those other students were hurt and embarrassed by their titles, but I was
devastated. I tried to never show how much effort it took to walk down the
hallway when everyone was thumbing through their year books. I just smiled and
focused on the fact that one kind person on the year book staff told me that I
was the runner up for Friendliest. I held that knowledge in a death grip,
"casually" dropping it in conversation. I held my head up and swallowed the
insecurity and the shame. Truthfully, it took a whole bunch of joy out of my
graduation experience. Every time I saw that year book--I crumpled a little bit.
Every time I wrote in someone else's, I left a smile by that ugly, hurtful
moniker--trying to show that I wasn't defined by name calling. But I was. I even
wondered what I would tell my future kids some day. Is it a surprise that I
can't seem to find where I stashed my year book?
Lucky for you, my husband was in my class
and I have his year book here to share. And lucky for me, he was always the kind
of guy who thinks I'm beautiful on the inside! But now that I'm dredging up old
memories, I realize that I'm still followed around by this experience . Sure--it
made me tougher. And if I was conceited in high school--wow--you can bet that
didn't last very long after I was blind sided by that experience. But the
repercussions weren't just immediate. It has lingered in other ways. It was a
good sized piece of the puzzle that helped to silence me as a young adult. I
pushed my own voice down for multiple reasons--but this was one of them. It
reinforced my belief that it was not safe to be the authentic me in public. The
insecurity that it created continues to rear it's ugly head as I wait for book
reviews to roll in. I think I can handle fairly written, less than stellar
reviews, but I'll be honest--I'm wondering if there will be more personal
attacks that have the power to bring me back to 1988 all over again.
There
might be.
And
just like in the past, I can't stop that.
But
what I can do is refuse to have my voice taken away for a second time. I can
refuse to be shamed by someone else's poor behavior. I can set an example for
others. I can encourage adults to wake up. When you say things like "It's all in
good fun." or "We did that when I was a kid and I survived." YOU are a poor role
model. YOU are not living up to your potential. YOU are causing pain--instead of
being someone's hero. There is enough crap out there to wade though. It is not
your job to add more.
The last thing I can do is apologize. I
voted for someone else to be Most Conceited. And I doubt I would have thought
twice about it if my name hadn't been the one printed in the year book. I didn't
do it to be mean. I did it out of ignorance, like most of my classmates. But
now I know. I never should have voted for a label that I would have felt
uncomfortable having my name attached to. And I am sorry.
2 People will receive swag packs of Touching the Surface awesomeness!
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Thank you so much for sharing this story. I always thought of the senior superlatives as popularity contest, but not anything really mean. At our school we didn't have most conceited or any really negative ones. Ours were things like best car, class couple, most likely to succeed... I guess the worst one we had was probably most talkative, and of course I got that one. Do they even do those anymore? It seems like depending on what is on the list they can be very hurtful.
ReplyDeleteHey I'm Kimberly Gill, Thanks for the chance to win this amazing giveaway. I was bullied for kindergarten to the day I graduated from high school. I went to the teachers and principal's but they did not do anything my parents even went up to the school still the principal and teachers did not do anything. I got blamed for stuff I did not even do they said it was my fault. I hope the speaks, helps and lets them know not to give up don't let them win because in the end the bullies will get what they deserve.
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